Sexual Vampyrism – An Introduction

Sexual vampyrism represents a special form among the other lived vampyric forms. Today I will venture a summary of this colorful and absolutely enriching variety of vampyrism, which coexists with sanguine and energetic variants. 

During my research I stumbled upon an informative contribution of the Federal Agency for Civic Education. The article itself does not deal with real vampyrism, but with fictional vampyrism (and its interpretation in relation to pop culture), but already in the 2nd paragraph it offers some exciting approaches, which I would like to look at here in order to be able to examine vampyrism in the context of sexuality. The complete article is absolutely worth reading and can be found here: Vampire Trouble: Gender, Sexuality and the Monstrous (Janina Scholz, BPB – In German only!)

The “Third” Gender

They cannot have children, but multiply anyway. The vampires bite is deadly and at the same time lustful, it brings unrest in sexual morals and sexual order. Their “incoherent bodies resist systematic structuring”,[3] cross strict boundaries. Vampire figures cannot be clearly assigned to any gender, their sexuality is ambivalent, their bloodlust is directed at women and men alike. Vampiric figures do not submit to the logic of binary thinking and take on many meanings […] – Janina Scholz, M.A., born 1979; colleague at the Graduate College of Gender Studies at the University of Basel/Switzerland; doctoral candidate at the Humboldt University of Berlin. ([3] Jeffrey Jerome Cohen, Monster Culture. Seven Theses, in: ders. (Ed.), Monster Theory. Reading Culture, Minneapolis-London 1996, pp. 3-25, here: S. 6.)

To be honest, this description reads like my wish list for the society of tomorrow. Everybody should be able to classify himself sexually as their wants to. In Germany we are so lucky to be able to hold on to a 3rd gender even in our passports. But I also notice a progressive development in everyday life towards more acceptance of queer ways of life. This can also be due to my filter bubble, which one don’t like to leave of course.. 

The traditional (sexualized) figure of the vampire certainly also plays a role in the development of socio-culturally grown realvampyric communities. As a community we can hardly dissociate ourselves from the cultural narratives about vampires that are taking place at the same time. We try to draw the line to the fictitious (immortality and blood drinking through a bite definitely belong in the non-lived, fictitious corner), but many aspects, such as the sexual one or simply the fact that (partly) blood is consumed, do play a role in the creation of identity. In the end, we stick to the term “vampire”.

But to come back to the topic: Sexual vampyirism can and should be considered equally with the sanguine and the psychological. It represents a separate variation on the same level as the other two ways of life. I will try to find a definition and the possible motivation behind it. 

Motivation

Sexuality in all its facets appears omnipresent (at least in the western world). Every day we interact with sexualized content (advertising, series, etc.) – in a way that it has became part of our normality, a normality that was unthinkable just a few decades ago. “Sex sells” has become a familiar word in media and marketing agencies. It remains to be seen to what extent we are finally blunted in the face of such content (whereupon the advertisers put a shovel on top of it).

It is certainly gratifying that our society is moving towards a more liberal approach to different gender identities and sexual behavior – but by only shifting the “normative” is not enough. It does not mean that there is not still something new to discover and integrate. The sexual vampyrism is, together with homosexuality (almost an old hat), asexuality and BDSM (and much more), able to show us the limits of these normative constructs.

I do not know about you, but borderline experiences are the salt in my soup of life. And sexuality can give you the means to push forward into yourself (lol…), to recognize your own limits and to compare them with the outer socially defined ones and finally to cross them – to discover a new world immediately. Ultimately, such border transgressions enabled me to integrate even parts of my personality that had previously been separated. To become concrete: I questioned why my social environment had drawn a line exactly there and not somewhere else, what this says about exactly this society and whether I would like to support or dissolve this separation forced by external forces. Sexuality is a means of choice. It still sounds really abstract…

 

By approaching the BDSM scene at a fairly young age, which promised a wealth of exciting practices and expected outstandingly socialized and communicative participants, I was able to make the step from “heteronormative sexuality” to a more promising world of experience. I could experience pain in a way that was fulfilling for me. I was in the happy position to find access to offers that did not lead me into any underground, but into loving arms. I was able to experiment and gain experiences that told me a lot about myself and my dynamics as a subject integrated into a society.

Pain, this unpleasant thing, which was often not considered further or even branded as an important part of life, but a necessary and immediately to avoid evil, became a metaphor for me beyond a flattened world of experience within social dogmas: it became a part of my world of experience that could be full of relish. My conclusion was not to avoid it at all costs, but to welcome it. I was able to resist him, to endure him and even to transform him into something positive, which in the end made me resurrect happily from a circumstance that could also become unpleasant at times. Pain, be it metaphorical or very real, has thus become for me a symbol of the night, followed by the day.

Surely not everyone has to go through exactly these experiences to understand that pain is a reality enriching component! 😀

Definition and Classification of Sexual Vampyrism

Sexual vampyrism is one of its own varieties. It can be defined in its own right or it can give rise to new forms through the sexualization of other vampyric practices. On the one hand, there are those who profit energetically from the act (as well as the before or after), on the other hand, there are those who sexualize their “actually” lived vampyrism (e.g. the sanguine) (in the sense of blood consumption and subsequent sexual acts).

Certainly all those with (hetero)normative sexuality would agree if I said: Consensually lived, openly communicated and fulfilling sexuality has the potential to make someone emerge from such an act strengthened and energized. Tantra, erotic massages, a hot flirt in the club – energy always flows between the participants. Nothing else happens between vampyre and partner – with the difference maybe that more conscious perception is given.

To what extent sexual and energy vampyrism can overlap you can read here.

Another way of living sexual vampyrism can also provide the framework in which blood is involved in sexual practices. People may drink from each other before having sexual intercourse, or they may consume during it. A possible starting point for blood consumption could therefore be an aroused emotional state that naturally leads to a sexual act. 

But even those who have little to do with such esoterically charged terms like “energy” or “chakra” can feel completely at home here. The sexual act has been extensively researched and provides many explanations for the feeling of well-being after a sexual act. Vampyrism then plays a major role as a motivation for reaching this state – a hunger that is satisfied, compensation for a loss or simply the pursuit of fulfillment and intimacy.

 

SEXUALITY, GENDER IDENTITY AND COMMUNITY

This is where sexual vampyrism falls on fertile ground – one of the most valuable aspects of the community is certainly the friendly and outright accepting interaction with each other, which extends to pretty much all areas of life, including the sexual identity and lived sexuality of its members. Hardly any other community I have encountered so far treats all its members as equally as I do.

No artificial power gap is created, since donor and vampire profit from each other without idealizing and living power-generating structures, as known from BDSM communities. These generated structures certainly have their own charm 😉

But the vampyric community also gets along fine without them. I don’t want to give any judgement as a part of both communities, I only present the socio-cultural structures that I perceive. Exceptions confirm the rule.

Possibly the community serves as a refuge for “deviant” people because every practice that is carried out by consensus is accepted here. As long as everyone is happy with an activity, talks about it and works with the concepts, no one – especially no outsider – has the right to judge or condemn someone for being “like that”. Rather, the experiences of the individual are gladly added to a common inherent identity.

If someone is willing to share their experiences, these become part of this community. It is also quite possible that they simply carry more weight in a community of such a manageable size. So, vampyric activities are certainly the unifying element, but it is only through the open acceptance of further fringe groups, which participate (also vampyric, but not only) in the identity of the group, that a space could be created that cheerfully and calmly precedes a society that is only just beginning to understand the advantages of living together in this way.

SEX AND BLOOD 

What a headline! Dark romantic, mystical, attractive. Certainly we are not too far away from the romantic scenes in movies and television, where a vampire bites his victim, overpowers him, makes him submissive (how was it again with the power gap…? :D), ensnares him with his charm and finally embraces him in a storm of passion. Except for the thing with “biting till blood flows”, this sounds like a very charming scenery to me. And it sounds like something that I know is very much lived out in Vamypric relationships in this or a similar way. 

 

So let us take a closer look at the act of biting:

Biting has in the context of the circumstances quite different reasons and thus effects.

In early childhood development, biting activities are part of a normal development for various reasons. Here we must learn that biting is not an adequate means of communication. A desire for attention or the desire to discover and defend one’s own spaces must first be learned by other means.

Crunching is another example, in which pressing the jaws firmly together usually leads to headaches and even more stress instead of relaxation. Everybody talks about the trigger stress, but nobody talks about the effect that the own body actually pursues with it – the reduction of stress. 

And who doesn’t know the stimulating advertising of a toothpaste manufacturer: Here, bright white teeth bite into a juicy green apple, a large piece is torn out and chewed with relish.

Biting, eating, chewing – these forms of sensory stimulation are also used in a sexual context. Those who bite their partner out of passion, possibly into a particularly vulnerable part of the body, such as the neck, usually do so without thinking about it beforehand; it seems to be a downright intuitive expression of precisely this arousal. In such a moment it seems quite natural to bite and nibble – always under the condition not to really hurt the partner where he doesn’t want it.  😀

This is where the supposed gap between sexuality and vampyrism is closing more and more. Nobody would call themselves vampyr because of such behavior – and yet their actions are the same. 

I admit, however, that sexually motivated drinking is on a different page of the same book.

A vampyre is certainly capable of experiencing ecstatic states just by drinking blood (you can read more about thirst here), what could it be like to have sex at the same time – in succession or while drinking? I guess the boundaries blur quite often by themselves. The intimacy that is necessary for drinking is certainly related to the sexually initiated. 

But just as often, there is a strict separation between sexuality and blood (or energy) consumption! There “it is absolutely sufficient” to drink blood or to refuel energy – sex is simply not necessary. 

Elsewhere it may not be wanted, after all there are enough vampyres who live in partnerships where it is clear what and who they are, but where their has no possibility to satisfy his need. A friendly helper, a donor, then becomes a vicarious agent and confidant, but not a sexual partner.

But I can also imagine that there are vampyres for whom a connection between blood and sexuality is too close to the blood fetish. The community is not a “reservoir” for a fetish, but stands for a deep connection to the medium blood and its mystical, energetic or simply nourishing aspects, which goes beyond the pure excitability through blood. However, the definition of fetish in its original form also includes this rather unsexy formulation: “According to ICD-10-GM F65.0, the “use of dead objects as stimuli for sexual arousal and satisfaction”[11] is defined as sexual fetishism. – Wikipedia. According to this definition, the presence of the person is no longer a requirement. The object of desire is now only the object (in this case it would be blood).

Certainly there are some donors who can act out their fetish for the benefit of the vampyre (and for their own benefit). Why not benefit from the donor being sexually aroused by the sight of blood? For sure he will not complain and if it fits for both – perfect!

The bond with blood, whatever its nature may be, goes far beyond pure fetishism in the community.

You see, my article is also a plea for this special form of realvampyrism. It represents an enrichment. It can very well distinguish itself from fetishism, but does not necessarily have to do so.

 

Maybe one or the other feels encouraged! *Cheers*

In conclusion, I can state for myself that once again there are as many definitions of vampyrism as there are vampyres. And every conversation is unique, every relationship individual and the community a wonderful echo of all these voices.

FURTHER AND PARTLY AMUSING LINKS CAN BE FOUND HERE: 

Incubus and Succubus (Wiki entry)

Sexual Vampyrism as a fetish

Vampyrism as a paraphilia

 

I would also like to point out again that although I always try to include all views, I do not always succeed or can not succeed in doing so in the heat of battle. If you have a different opinion or want to share further aspects of the topic “Sexual Vampyrism”, feel free to comment. 🙂

The Human and his Symbols

The Separation of Mind and Feeling

What C.G. Jung has to do with Vampyres 

 

I’m reading Jung right now. A wise man, I like his revolutionary and anti-mass thinking of his time. With his theses, after initial restraint, he even stood up to his friend and teacher Freud. He was a time traveler who dared to look back and thus created a new future – with his ideas on the unconscious. In a time when psychology was still in its infancy and the unconscious was seen as a suppressed and not independent part of the personality, a change in the way we deal with our own feelings and needs became apparent. 

People, who previously had to deal with everything on their own, trusted themselves again and found a new approach to themselves. They had to overcome the way of thinking that had been trained by the excessive use of reason and convention – not everything could/can and will/should be rationally explained.

Jung likes to cite “primitives” as an example of this, primitive peoples who for the most part still live(ed) as the “civilized” world itself did a few centuries and millennia ago, before understanding and its tools became the new promised land. Before words and abstract concepts replaced emotional and pictorial symbols and images – and so we blocked the access to our own unconscious. Logic and the capacity for abstraction brought us instead the railroad and the smartphone.

Certainly, progress has brought us unbelievable riches: none of us here (First world…) has to go hungry, no one has to be bored, everyone can pursue their dream job, pursue hobbies, learn and love whomever they want (ideally…).

But the price seems to have been high. In order to guide our thinking, we had to create a language that would make room for commonly used definitions like “transmitter” or “ultrasound”. But for this, symbols, images and emotions had to give way. The dialogue with your own environment? – Unthinkable! Nobody speaks with a stone today without being looked at diagonally. Those who do and thus discover a part of themselves in this conversation are a minority who are smiled at by an intellectual majority without access to themselves – who is stupid now?

His thesis about this speaks of projections on the environment, which in turn is able to hold up a mirror to us.

 

An example: “The wise oak advises another child? Sure, we do!” means something like: “I wish for another child, but it is only through the unconscious projection onto an external entity that I can allow myself to do it – the advice of Mother Earth should be followed.

In the meantime, however, man has marginalized his emotions and instincts in favor of other more materially weighted objects. I do not want to appear ungrateful. All of this has its value. I am happy with my bed and the full refrigerator. But I also mourn for all the vivid colors and for the world whose access I have to fight my way back to myself piece by piece.

 

Jung uses an example to describe how instinct and feeling have been replaced:

In earlier times, when instinctive ideas appeared in the mind of a person, his consciousness was able to integrate them into a coherent pattern. But the “civilized” person can no longer do this. His “progressive” consciousness has robbed itself of all means by which the helpful contributions of instincts and the unconscious could be assimilated (note from my side: what is meant is that man no longer perceives unconscious currents, or worse, perceives them, but cannot integrate them into his being and thus his actions). (…) Today, for example, we speak of “matter”. We describe its physical properties. We carry out laboratory experiments to show some of its aspects. But the word “matter” remains a dry, inhumane and purely intellectual term, which has no psychic meaning for us… How different was the earlier image of matter – the Great Mother – which expressed the deep emotional meaning of Mother Earth. (…)
I recognize myself in it – I recognize that I do not recognize myself and I do not recognize the world. 

How often do I stumble upon a feeling that I can only express mediocrely through words. How many metaphors does it take to bring an experience in all colors to someone else – and more importantly – who even takes the trouble anymore? 

Countless times I capitulated to the effort of communicating, out of social conventions (“You don’t do that!”), because of the effort (“How do I make him understand?”) or because I simply fail to perceive my whole being (“What do I really want?”).

Well, and what does that have to do with vampyrism? 

Everything.

The real question is, with what has this loss of the own human identity and this big part of the psyche nothing to do?! 

My inner vampyre symbolizes a part of me that wants to be perceived. Something burrows through me, sends clues and begs for attention – and I try to perceive it and not to push it away again and again “because it is inappropriate”.

So my task is to let words be words every now and then, to trace feelings, to give images and dreams a meaning they deserve, to trust instincts.

Shame and Protection

Shame and Protection

Shame was already a topic here and there in my blog. It’s usually not the most pleasant feeling – and yet I have to realize that it means more than glowing cheeks and a pulling in the stomach. Shame is a shimmering feeling, curse and blessing at the same time.

Read more

Shifts

Shift

My breath goes slower and deeper. My posture has changed. I stretch out my chin as if I wanted to pick up a scent. My muscles feel supple, I feel the inherent strength. I am relaxed and focused at the same time.

My gaze loses its sharpness, but I perceive my outer field of vision, the fine hairs on my cheeks stand up, feeling every breeze.

My mouth is watering… I see blood. This special way of changing my perception of blood can be described in a similar way. These “shifts” are well known in the scene, but do not resonate with every echo. Not everyone feels so instinctively addressed by a “meal”. There is even a whole group that follows this rather animalistic approach of Realyvampyrism.

Instinct Theory

One of many theories on this is found in the innate hunting instinct of humans. Even if this instinct is no longer known or experienced as such, the evolutionary component cannot be overestimated. Aggression and the willingness to use violence were once extremely useful behaviors for hunting, but they could also be acted out in it. Today… – well, those with a surplus of martial arts or mutate to hooligans on weekends. It is only right to call a human being rational, if one considers that he can only be placed on a scale between instinctive acting (unconsciously) and rational. Special attention is also paid here to the veto right of the own consciousness. However, before a decision to act (which, according to the latest findings of brain research, was taken unconsciously and then transferred to consciousness), a last part of the brain has the right to veto. Who hasn’t yet caught himself reaching for the last bar of chocolate and then stopping his hand before reaching the delicacy in motion?

Dealing with a shift – morality as a protective shield

Such shifts are not always triggered and not always allowed. What do I mean by this? The sight of blood can, but need not, cause such a reaction on the part of the vampire. If the vampire is saturated or simply relaxed, he may or may not trigger the shift on a purely voluntary basis. Usually this is perceived as pleasant, it is an experience.

But some people can also be taken by surprise and avoid triggers altogether. For clarification: A shift is simply a shift in perception. There is no talk of an active action to end this state – it may or may not follow afterwards.

But if these shifts are triggered, they can be overwhelming. Then it is a matter of keeping calm or at least regaining calm.

Under certain conditions, a safe acting out is possible – an initiated donor, safety precautions, a safe space… which is necessary.

The goal must never be to act out the hunting instinct in an actual hunt, i.e. to grab and/or injure another person. There are rules, a morality and this can surely not be simply “overridden”, even if this state can be partly exhausting. And this is where our own morals use their veto right, even if it means energetic effort at this moment – the state is tempting, but acting out the same would possibly have unwanted consequences. The tension between these two poles is endured or pacified.

Self control and limits

It is a dark part of oneself, a shadow side that is tempting, but should only lead to satisfaction when controlled.

No vamp wants to have to deal with his conscience afterwards, because he might have burdened a loved one beyond his limits. And certainly not one would like to make oneself legally attackable, because one has harmed someone in a way not agreed upon (Legally, as a sanguine practitioner one always moves in a grey area!)

But if you get the chance to live out your life in a controlled way, this control can become a strengthening element, in the sense of an ability that builds you up and enriches your own feeling with a mesmerizing component.

Those who are able to act out their behavior within the framework of their own morality and in consultation with other participants will also recognize their own limits. This realization offers the possibility to perceive oneself more consciously. Boundaries do not have to have a restrictive effect, but can also help you to recognize your place in the world. They can integrate you and give you security.

The shift as a link between the unconscious and the conscious

A shift gives you a wonderful opportunity to loosen up the always active, consciously acting and reason-led behavior. You can trace the sensation, give it space, discard shame, go on a dream journey, explore your own fantasies. There is still time for a revision afterwards.

(I’m not talking about letting go and crossing boundaries!) Meditation exercises in this state can certainly lead to a more holistic picture of the self. A shift may be able to show you your own darker sides, to look at them, to make friends with them and finally to integrate them.

Those who deal with shamansimus in a special way or call themselves Otherkin o.A. can meet their own animal being or their companion here.

 

This article is only a first insight into the complex of topics “animal in the vampyre”. The topic is still being explored by me and I am happy about new insights every day. This blog should help you to recognize yourself, to know that you are not alone with your feelings. If you feel the need to add your own little blog post here, please contact me 😉