Vampyric awakening is a concept within the real vampyre community that can best be described as “becoming aware”. Vampyres are therefore not made, but born as such. At least they have a corresponding emotional and behavioral disposition, although we are not talking about a new species here. Rather, it refers to a certain mindset, special experiences that have been made, and the often inexplicable desire for blood or the urge to absorb energy. In the end, these factors usually lead to an approach to the topic of vampyrism.
THE FIRST STEP – CONSCIOUSNESS
Whatever your reason is for being here, you will find no less than like-minded people and helpful information. In the best case you will recognize yourself a little bit better.
Few can see wither their road will lead them, till they come to it’s end. -Gimli, The Lord of the Rings
From vampire novels to being a vampyre
The first points of contact with the topic “vampire” are for many of us the numerous pop-cultural offerings, which both the traditional and the newly interpreted vampire calls home. Whether it was Edward, Dracula or the Salvatore brothers that made you sit up and take notice, in the end you realized that there is more to it than just entertainment. Did your heart beat faster when Edward talked about his fight with himself? Or was the bite of a Damon Salvatore a trigger for hunger attacks?
Not to mention the sex appeal inherent in the characters, you must have noticed that your jaws pull, your head buzzes, or your blood rushes louder in your veins… that it feels different when you turn off the TV. That you feel different.
It’s more than a crush on a character. Something attracts you to it, something that at some point goes far beyond a daydream. But when did it happen? And why now?
And so you start looking.
At some point, affected people notice behavioral changes in themselves. Striking signs are often a changed relationship to blood or a new awareness of energies (especially energy losses). These manifest themselves accordingly in daydreams or special emotional involvement whenever the topic comes up.
A student who cuts on paper and bleeds suddenly attracts our attention. Blood is given a new meaning. Why is seeing someone bleeding such a fascinating thing or even arousing in some way? And why the hell do I stare at it, instead of handing the poor guy a handkerchief?!
Situations that were previously perceived as everyday become more conscious – why do we feel so bad after our best friend complains about her suffering? Sure, we suffer along with her and want to help… but why does this pull us so much? It drains us. What is behind it?
Whoever then decides to truly pursue these questions has already taken the first step on a path that holds many more questions, promises exciting acquaintances and possibly reveals a glimpse into his own soul. And maybe one or the other will find himself in a vampire blog or esoteric forum or he will go his own way. These paths often cross and so can finally feel at home in real vampyrism as well as in the occult or spiritual. Still others approach the subject purely scientifically. There is a thirst and there must be an explanation for it.
Whoever notices a blood thirst in himself will probably be able to search more concretely than those who can work energetically. Especially the energetic vampyrism seems to me to be difficult to define with the manifold (and currently esoterically charged) concepts of chi, chakra, spirit, soul etc. – at least as a beginner. Who would guess that he himself is an energy vampyre, when there is much talk about balance. Who knows that he can create balance by helping someone else to get rid of his energy?
The only thing that helps is to deal with your past. Which signs have always been there? Where is the blind spot that prevents us from seeing things in a new light?
And so often a journey begins, which sometimes presents us with a new turn, sometimes leads us back to an old path. Some turn in circles until they accept, others push forward. Information is collected, the Internet is scoured, one’s own emotional world is explored. A new consciousness manifests itself.
The second step – retrospective
With this new consciousness and the first fresh knowledge it goes then to remember. Most people realize quite fast that one or the other experience suddenly gets a supposed meaning, if one looks at it from this completely new side.
When your best friend in kindergarten hit his knee and you not only blew, but also touched it and licked it. A buried memory. A nonsensical one at that – until you realize that this is really, really weird. No explanation was necessary because it didn’t count for much as a childhood memory. Children put everything in their mouths! One just wanted to help! …
So many much more plausible motives, which took away the need for further questioning. Why should it be good to bring out every experience in the context of blood (or even those with energetically effective components) again? It just happened like that, let it go.
But now exactly these memories come to light, sharply outlined, enriched with emotions and details. That day in kindergarten, we wore our favorite blue pants and had applesauce for dessert. Yeah, and then you were out playing and your friend fell. He didn’t scream, but it was bleeding..you blew..you touched..you wanted to taste.
And at the latest then you get hot and cold. A realization breaks its way.
It was so much more…
And like a chain of events that seemingly took place incoherently, everything fits into a larger picture. With more distance and new knowledge the section one can look at increases. You can guess at the edges of the puzzle and one piece fits into the next.
So what were your experiences? Just coincidence? Were they intentional actions? Was it nothing more than that? What was your first experience and which was the second? Think about it. Remember.
The third step – Observation of your own needs
Now it is time to observe. School your eye for detail. How does your need express itself? Is it really blood that attracts you or does the intimacy with a donor seem more tempting? Is it the exuberant energy of a friend that captivates you and do you want to absorb it, play with it or just perceive it? What about sex? Good food? With everything that gives satisfaction in one way or another? Are they the springboard from which you dive into the water or are they the water you want to swim in?
Expose yourself to situations in which you can explore your emotions (please don’t slit them :D). Feel inside yourself and guess what lies behind it. This new dark and colorful world, which sends out its very own stimuli that can hardly be put into words, is always open to you. All it takes is a push (and, helpfully, the right mindset).
And then ask yourself what consequences your needs have for you and possibly your environment. Needs would like to be satisfied. If you allow yourself to do so, you must treat them as a gift for which you should take responsibility.
Maybe it helps you to become active. Gather more information, but also go outside and talk to someone about it (of course you can also do this online). In the dialogue it is often easier to reorder and evaluate things. Tell someone about it you trust completely or talk about it with someone who has already been through it. Get new push and new ideas.
Placing yourself in your own world view
The most important mental tool you will certainly need on this new journey is patience, closely followed by acceptance. Maybe you don’t need that, maybe you are relaxed with spiritual topics? Maybe you are close to a faith?
But maybe you are not a believer either. Maybe all this does not fit into your life and experience concept. The force, with which it threatens to strike you, tears you off your feet and makes your world view shake. Maybe you are not ready. Many need a first, second and third attempt to finally have the courage or the muse to really deal with themselves and these needs.
Let me tell you, others have also experienced similar situations and have found vampyric traits in themselves. Others, too, have gone through doubts, survived real need attacks and doubted their mental health. But in the end they found a way, their way. And it is usually paved with wonderful new friendships, deep insight and balance. A pothole here and there. But usually with a happy ending.
You can read about these happy endings here: Collection of Awakening Stories
By the way, I also like to make your search for information easier with my link collection.
What the spellings “Vampir” and “Vampyr” are about, you can find out in the start article
Furthermore there is a very nice article from Vice Magazine, which is now known for its somewhat weirder topics: